Well, it has been just over a month since Lukas’ last chemo treatment, and we were so looking forward to the less frequent visits to the hospital and the tumultuous nights in the hospital. We were so looking forward to having this whole experience something that we could look back at and be in amazement over how we survived two years of treatment. But unfortunately last night our excitement of the days ahead, the idea of easy sailing, were quickly taken from us. After a couple of days of concern over Lukas’ left eye being larger than his right we finally took action. Last night, after Lukas ate his favorite meal of chicken nuggets and bbq sauce (gargachu sauce as he says it) I dropped Joel and Lukas off at Lurie Children’s ER in order to get some answers.
After many hours of waiting, a CT scan and blood labs were drawn. Fortunately, the blood labs came back looking fine! His levels were quite normal! Unfortunately, the CT scan showed that Lukas has a mass behind his eye, most likely a tumor. Due to his history, the doctors believe that it is leukemic, but they will be checking everything to make sure that it is not just a crazy coincidence!
Something that you NEVER want to hear as a cancer survivor or parent of a cancer survivor is that the cancer is back! So, we would super appreciate your prayers that this would be a weird eye infection or something totally unrelated to his cancer. That would, of course be the best outcome!
That being said, I was super encouraged tonight while reading John 9:1-3 to the kids. It says:
“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him,“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him….”
I was so encouraged by this because I know that what Lukas has been going through and what we as a family have suffered and endured through has been so that God might be displayed! I shared that with Jakob & Phia (as I was getting choked up while reading it,) and Jakob (my thinker) says, “You know what mom, I am older than Lukas but I will never have the same impact that Lukas has had!” Obviously we are all capable and called to have an impact on God’s kingdom, but not all at the young age of 10 months! Jakob had a fair point!
As I was trying to grasp the concept that Lukas’ leukemia might be back, Joel shared with me a few songs that were super encouraging. The first is “Though You Slay Me” which is such a wonderful reminder that our love is not conditional from the Lord, so our love for the Lord should not be conditional on our circumstances. The song echoes the words “Your enough for me!” It is so very true! No matter what misery or suffering that we are going through the LORD IS ENOUGH! He will, he has and he will continue to sustain us!
The second song is “It Is Well With My Soul.” This song was written by Horatio Spafford a successful Chicago lawyer. He lost his son to pneumonia in 1971 and in the same year lost half his business in the Chicago Fire. Two years later he put his wife and four daughters on the Titanic and only his wife survived. As travelled to be with his grieving wife and passed over the waters where his daughters lives were lost he wrote “It Is Well With My Soul.” What an incredible reminder that no matter what is going on in your life you are able to be “well” if you have the peace that passes all understanding in a relationship with our creator. Through every trial that we have been through, and if you know our story, you know there have been many, we have had peace; we have been “well.”
I boldly say that if you do not have that same peace, I urge you to find it. I urge you to take the time, as it is the most important thing for us to spend our time on. What are you spending your time on? What are you focused on? What consumes you?
We recently bought a 1920’s bungalow that needs A LOT of work, and I will be honest, I have been consumed with trying to fix it up and settle it. I am not saying that dreaming about my home is a sin, but I am saying that I have been quickly reminded what is truly important. This life is temporary. There is something so much greater and eternal for us to fix our eyes on. My house currently doesn’t feel important at all anymore.
Please take some time to listen to these songs. If you are not yet a believer in Jesus or if you don’t even believe in God, I urge you to take a few minutes to be opened minded, what do you have to loose?
All that to say, Lukas will likely need a bone marrow biopsy to rule out that the leukemia hasn’t spread to his marrow. He will also be seen by eye doctors and he will need additional XRAYS and scans. Please keep Lukas and our family in your prayers. I will make sure to keep you all posted as to what is going on.
Thanks again for all your support and love!
prayforlukas 